“Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And, Jill came tumbling after.
Some story, Huh? The problem is; that too many stories are just as exciting. Try this on today’s youngster! We as adults can appreciate the predicament …. but, it’s hard to understand the whole process of just how these incidents happened. Or why, for that matter.
As writers and story tellers (and this would be all of us) we are told that if we use enough commanding adjectives, we can pull the reader into the story…..perhaps even a metaphor or two would garner attention.
How then might we make a successful story out of the above? Here’s a thought;
Jack and Jill were soon to be married. Their dream was to have a beautiful home of their own, and it was about to happen, as Jack’s 90 year old grandpa Bill was about to go to an “old folks home” and they were to have his place as a wedding gift..They were there to thank him.
As Grandpa spent his last day on the porch watching the stream of cars go by, he dozed off and dropped his cigar on the porch deck.
It was some time before anyone one noticed that a fire had started. The breeze had drawn it away from him and onto a handsome wicker chair was blazing away. They were soon to find that the water had been shut off at the faucet…. due to grandpa’s negligence in bill paying.
The only option was the park next door; so up the hill they ran to the only faucet next to the fountain.
Jill turned around, only to find that Jack had tried to hurdle a park bench, and in his wild rush his toe caught, and he was turned upside down striking his head on the concrete. Jill tumbled head over heels down the hill in an effort to assist him and ruptured her spleen. They both lay there in pools of blood.
Unfortunately, this was a turning point in their desire to get married. The house burned down as Grandpa watched excitedly from the front yard. Jack underwent surgery for the injury, having lost all memory of his relationships with both Jill and his grandfather.
He is now track coach at the High School…..high jump I think….and working on his third marriage….. still not being able to remember his vows.
Jill, now married, moved to Kentucky on a huge ranch where they have sprinkler systems every where… from the guest closet, to the horse barn.
No one smokes…….no one would even think of jumping over park benches… sometimes not even their children. They have only a small back porch featuring a huge barrel, filled to the brim with excellent water.
Well, at least she got it!
Grandpa wonders: “Got what?”
And you say…… Whaaat?